


Granny's (F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)

by summer_of_1985



Series: There's Only One Rule. Pick a Partner Who Knows What He's Doing [14]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Based on an AO3 Fic, Episode: s01e05 The One With The East German Laundry Detergent, F/M, Inspired by Friends (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2020-10-25 13:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summer_of_1985/pseuds/summer_of_1985
Summary: After watchingThe One with the East German Laundry Detergent, I created this fic which was inspired by Beauty in the Aftermath by High-Seas-Swan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Beauty in the Aftermath](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16164293) by [High-Seas-Swan (FangLang)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangLang/pseuds/High-Seas-Swan). 

Since coming back from her trip abroad (where she met Killian), she decided to take him to Granny's and show him around the tiny town of Storybrooke, and she gives a tentative smile to Mary Margaret and David and stands at the counter that has Ruby stood behind.

"Girl! I've missed you!" Ruby smiles, as she jogs around the counter and wraps her arms around Emma tightly. Emma hugged her back and then introduced Ruby to Killian. Tink (Emma always thought that was a strange name for the girl), August and Will walk into Granny's - and it's basically a huge reunion between the five - and now Killian. 

* * *

Everyone had left Granny's as it was closing for the night, save for the six sat at the bar (as well as a few people scattered around the diner, which includes David and Mary Margaret).

"Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal!" Tink exclaimed as Ruby handed Emma a root beer float.

August looked at the woman who has a habit of wearing green on every day for some reason. "Not that big a deal? It's amazing!" He counters. "Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little manoeuvre, and bam, a bra right out of the sleeve!" August mimed the bra coming out of the sleeve. "Alright, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?" August said, looking to Will and Killian for support.

At this, Emma rolls her eyes. "Come on! You guys can pee standing up!" She crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair so that her feet landed in Killian's lap.

"We can? Alright, I'm trying that!" Killian said, making Emma smile at him as he rubs the top of her feet.

That is when Will speaks. "Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me," He said, making everyone roll their eyes at him, a lot of the time, Emma wonders how he graduated from school...

That is when Ruby comes up with one. "Oh, ok, you what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care!" She said, making Emma and Tink nod - and there is a long pause from the guys as they try to come up with an idea.

"Multiple orgasms!" August exclaimed, making the girls shake their head. 

* * *

Ruby was told by Granny that there was someone on the phone for her (Ruby guessed it was her father since she came to live with her grandmother, he hasn't been happy with her).

"So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!" August said, doing some kind of dance that made Killian raise his eyebrows at August's strange dance.

"No plans, huh?" Will said, looking up from the beer bottle and the magazine Ruby gave him earlier on, and to August.

August collapsed against the bar. "Not a one,"

This made Tink smile at the poor guy. "Not even, say, breaking up with Lily?" Emma suggested, making August look over at her. Emma was currently leaning back into Killian's arms (something that was quickly becoming her favourite place in the world).

"Oh. right, right, shut up," August looked at her and gave her a slight glare, in which she responded with a cheeky smile. 

* * *

Ruby walked back to where her friends were. "Does anybody want anything else?" She asked as August looked over at the girl stood behind the bar/counter.

"Oh, yeah. Last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of cakey pie thing," August is cut off by a nasty look Ruby is shooting him, and the tapping of her pencil on the little notebook in her hand. "Nothing, just, just, I'm fine," he says, looking back to the magazine he had swiped from Will.

Tink looks at Ruby and asked her. "What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?" She scrunches up her face, in almost a symbol as to how Ruby is 'scrunching' up her face.

"It's my father," Ruby had recently come to stay with her maternal grandmother and had gotten a job at her restaurant/café, and was always badgered by her father to go back. "He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible," she continued, making August look at her.

"That guy, he burns me up," August comments, making Emma giggle silently.

Ruby rolls her eyes and rested further against the counter. "Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes, if I move back home," She said, making Emma sigh heavily, having heard about Ruby's problem with her father before she came back to the States. "Oh, it was horrible! He called me _'young lady'_," she rolled her eyes.

"Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that," Will joked, getting a silent laugh out of Killian, who was (rather quickly) getting the hang of the American sarcasm and humour.

Emma looked over at Ruby with a sad look to her face. "Did he give you that whole _'you're-not-up-to-this'_ thing again?" Emma asked, having heard Ruby complain about her father.

Ruby nodded. "Oh, yeah, yeah! Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of _'You'll never make it on your own'_," Ruby said, once again rolling her eyes at what her father had said to her over the phone.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh," Tink says, rhythmically, bopping her head as her friends laughed at her often strange habits.


	2. Are we still taking about sex?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 1, Episode 2: "The One with the Sonogram at the End"

Emma doesn't know how they got onto this topic, but somehow they did. She was sat in the Rabbit Hole with August, Ruby, Tinkerbell, Will and Hook. Emma and Ruby were sat on one side of the booth (as August got them drinks), with Will, Tink and Hook sat on the other side.

August came back with the girls' drinks, Emma standing out of the booth to allow him his seat (between the two ladies), and then took her seat once again - opposite Hook.

"I think, for us, kissing pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before..." August holds his hands out. "Pink Floyd comes out," 

Obviously Hook had a confused on his face, as to who _Pink Floyd_ might be. Emma mouthed to him that it was a band.

"Yeah, and- and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that - that... that's not... why we bought the ticket," Will spoke, this time making Ruby roll her eyes.

August spoke up again. "You see, the problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again," Emma crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at the man sat next to her. "Y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically, just trying to stay awake," August finished as Emma crossed her arms.

"Yeah, well, word of advice: bring back the comedian. Otherwise, next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone," Emma said to August, before taking a long sip of her drink.

"Are we still talking about sex?" Hook asked, and with a slight nod from Ruby - he also took a sip of his rum.


End file.
